Achilles and the Tortoise, a Hofstatder Dialogue.

Type : fan fiction

Mr. Tortoise has been confined to a large cell in a sweedish prison these past few days, having been turned in by his trusted alley Achillies. 'Rrrrriiiinnnggg', it's 6:05 am and the bleary eyed Mr. Tortoise picks up the phone from beside his bed.

Achillies Hullo, hullo Mr. T, I have just been woken from a rather strange experience by a bolt of lightning and it's associated thunder which we attribute to causation by convention.

Tortoise Oh, good moorning my friend, allow me just a moment to gather my thoughts!

Mr. Tortoise takes a moment to find his bearings and recall of the padding tanjent (or, perhaps it is more correct to call it an orthogonal) which landed him in jail. It takes a few moments for he has just woken up from a most perculiar dream.

Tortoise Fellow I would be delighted to hear what strange things happen in mind at this time of moorning, please, enlighten me Achillies [stifling a yawn].

Achillies See here, many nights in a row now, for the last say 40 odd years, I have been having a reaccuring dream, it is of a very strange nature you know, every night it's the same.

Tortoise T'is so? I myself am no stranger to reoccuring dreams, I once had a reoccuring dream that I was a snake on the hunt for Tortoises and I would find my sleeping self and wake up upon biting my own tail. But please do tell me what this dream is I am most intrigued that you should have the same one fourty years in a row. Even for my kind this is quite a long time you know.

Achillies Ahoy! This dream I speak of is most curious indeed; more so for me not having noticed that I was dreaming the same dream my entire life.

Tortoise Did quite forget that you where but a mere pup. What is it that made you notice now?

Achillies Till dawn from dusk I have had the same dream for 40 years and forgoten it each day, but last night I tell you, I had a different dream! And a most perculiar dream it was!

Tortoise ERrrr, can you think of any reason for why this might be.

Achillies I don't think so no, but that is not what I would focus on, the what here is much more interesting than the why.

Tortoise Speak then good fellow and stop holding me in such suspense!

Achillies Ah yes well you see the nature of this dream is as follows, every night of my entire life I have been dreaming of... I have been dreaming that I was... a man? I vaguely recall I was an academic. The details escape me now, how can it be that I cannot remember this dream through which it seems I have been living a parallel life?

Tortoise Strange indeed that you cannot remember this reccuring dream... how about your dream from last night.

Achillies Lets see... last night I dreamped I was a young man in Canada by the name of... He was called... [trails off]

Tortoise Eehhww, it seems to have slipped your mind's grasp. Funny remembering a dream feels like trying to hold water in-

Achillies Eggs Benedict! There was something to do with eggs Mr. T, I know it it's a clue! But what on earth...

Achillies and the Tortoise sit in scilence for a while on either end of the line while Achillies ponders his dream.

Achillies Perhaps it's just a sign that I'm getting old, as my dear friend Houglas Dofstadter sometimes tells me. I'd best go back to sleep, I'm so tired Mr. T. Sorry for bothering you, ta ta!

Achillies puts the phone down and Mr. Tortoise follows suit on his end and ponders the dream he was gracelessly awoken from; he had dreamped he was a boy of about 19, there had been a thunderstorm, and a girl, and a toilet which made gurguling sounds... but he could not recall much and without so much as a whisper sleep sweapt over him once more.